When Regulation Isn’t Control — It’s Coming Home to Yourself
Regulation isn’t about control... it’s about presence. This week’s reflection explores what it really means to stay with yourself when the world feels loud.
Hello Beautiful Souls,
We live in a world that rewards control. Staying poised. Keeping it together. Not making anyone uncomfortable. And in spiritual spaces, that pressure to be "regulated" can get spiritualized. We’re taught that regulation means having a fixed smile, a steady tone, a clear aura. But real emotional regulation doesn’t mean you never get triggered or overwhelmed. It means you have a strong enough container to hold yourself through those moments.
There’s a softness in true strength. A flexibility. A way of being with your experience instead of against it.
When we walk with sacred medicine (whether through microdosing, ceremony, or intentional integration) we’re not aiming for constant bliss. We’re cultivating capacity. The capacity to feel without collapsing. To witness ourselves without rushing to fix. To stretch the space between stimulus and response.
That space is where our power lives.
This month, I’ve been reflecting on how many times I thought I was "regulated" when I was actually dissociated. How often I confused emotional numbness for maturity. How easy it is to bypass feelings when you’ve been trained to perform stability.
But healing isn’t about performance. Healing is about presence.
And sometimes presence looks like tears. Or silence. Or a trembling voice that still chooses to speak.
If you’ve been walking with the medicine and wondering why your feelings are louder, your body more sensitive, or your tolerance for chaos lower…….that’s not a regression. That’s a return.
A return to your felt sense. To the wisdom in your cells. To the part of you that knows how to orient back to safety, back to self.
So this week, instead of trying to "stay calm," try staying close. To your body. Your breath. Your knowing.
You don’t have to control everything to be grounded. You don’t have to shrink your expression to be safe.
You just have to stay with yourself.
Tool for Transformation
Journaling Prompt:
What’s one emotion I learned was "too much" or "inappropriate" growing up? What did I have to do to manage that part of me? What does that emotion want from me now?
Embodiment Practice:
Create a sacred pause this week. When you feel something rise (stress, sadness, frustration, anger), don’t push it down or push through. Stop. Breathe. Name it out loud. Then ask your body: What would regulation look like here that doesn’t involve shutting down? Move from there.
A Song to Walk With
“Home” by East Forest & Ram Dass
A fun yet poignant track — one that captures the paradox of feeling both anchored and expansive. Let it remind you that home is a feeling inside the body.
For Paid Subscribers
What’s Coming This Week
On Wednesday, you’ll receive your next Challenge — a nervous system check-in and emotional reset practice to help you start building a personalized emotional regulation map.
On Thursday, our Audio Guide drops:
"How to Anchor Without Controlling" — a meditative reflection on how to be rooted in your truth while still allowing life to move through you.
If you’re not a paid subscriber yet, you can upgrade at any time to receive these weekly reflections and practices. They’re part of how I walk beside you……..especially in the space between ceremonies.
In Your Corner, Always
You weren’t meant to numb out or rise above. You were meant to feel fully and stay rooted. That’s what sacred medicine teaches us: to meet ourselves right here... not only when it’s convenient or graceful, but when it’s real.
You are not behind. You are not broken. You are not too much.
You are becoming. And I’ll be right here, walking with you.
With love,
Alice
P.S.
If you haven’t yet explored the Path or Pattern assessment, now is the time to check in. It’s a short, powerful reflection tool I created to help you get honest about your relationship with the medicine — where you’re aligned, where you’re looping, and where something deeper might be ready to emerge.
There are only a few spots open right now in my Walk the Medicine Path Mentorship, and once they’re filled, I won’t be opening new spaces again until winter.
If you’ve been feeling the nudge... this is your moment to listen.
You can take the assessment here:
It only takes a few minutes — and it might bring the clarity you’ve been waiting for.